31.10.13

#231 When there is nothing left of you but empty frames with Gizza


I notice that friends really wake up when their partners starts to pull away, and you are probably one of them, right now. I do feel for you. Assuming you want them back. The first and only thing to do is look at what do you want? You need to take time, and breathe. Take heart!  Waking up is always a good idea – at least in the long run.

I have four simply rules as to what you should do and I am no expert, but this may help -

1. Give up on all signs of pushing.
This is very important.  Your partner is already moving away.  Anything you do to push them will tend to make them move away faster and further.  Stop anything that might be construed as pursuing or pressing them.  If your instinct is to call them twice a day, start calling them once a week.

2. Survive
Do not be surprised that you may feel awful, or sick, or depressed.  This is normal when you feel left behind, abandoned.  The feeling will go away – with a lot of time.  In the meantime, continue to live your life.  Go to work.  Eat well.  Sleep well.  Do more exercise.  (It will help you sleep.  It will help with any depression you may feel.) 

3. Work on yourself, Visibly
See a counsellor.  Talk your problems over with friends,  Learn what you can. Reflect. Chances are there is a lot for you to learn.  Most often when a partner leaves, they have been planning it for a long time.  You, on the other hand may have been taken by surprise.  All relationship trouble takes two. Be willing to admit that you could have made mistakes. It takes a lot sometimes to believe this.

4. Be available minimally when you partner asks for contact
It is reasonable that your partner will try to contact you.  They may ask for a chat.  Ask, “How long?”  Agree to give them half that time.  They may ask for dinner together.  Agree to give them a short one.  They may ask for you to spend the night.  Think that yes you do want them back but go slow. You have to earn (or in this case, re-earn) their trust and never lose it again.

DestinationGizza

Corset - GizzA - Femme Fatale [Black] MESH Corset (New)
Cloak - GizzA - Femme Fatale [Black] Cloak (New)
Skin -  Glam Affair - Zara - America 06
Cheeks - {Dead Apples} Tintable Shape Your Cheeks
Eyes - {Dead Apples} - Nebula Grey
Hair - Amacci Hair Ulrica ~ Light Copper
Boots - GizzA - Femme Fatale [Black] Boots (New)
Hands - Slink Avatar Enhancement Hand Casual
 

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